April has come and gone, and we are now closing out the month of May, but it is important to recognize multiple recent causes that deserve awareness. Namely, in addition to being World Autism Acceptance Month, April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month.
This topic can be a sensitive or difficult one, yet an effective avenue to reducing discomfort is learning more about ways adults can protect children from such maltreatment. In today’s Tiny Topic discussion, we will review preventative and proactive measures our community can implement to reduce child sexual abuse.
First, adults should use anatomically correct terms when referring to body parts. Naming parts of the body appropriately, such as “penis” or “vulva” reduces the stigma or taboo that can sometimes be associated with talking about the body. Using nicknames for body parts sends the message that talking about body parts is “bad” or “shameful” and that we must disguise it with something “cute” or “silly.” Children who use anatomically correct terms have a lower likelihood of being sexually abused and gain the confidence they need to report any potential abuse.
Parents and other grownups can also define private areas to help specify the difference between safe and unsafe touches. A useful way to define private areas is to tell children that our mouths and the parts of the body that are covered by bathing suits are private areas.
These private areas should be covered, and no one is allowed to touch or look at those parts of the body except for when “safe” touch is used. Safe touch is allowed when the child is exploring their own body in a private space, like their bedroom, or when an adult is helping them to clean their bodies or keep them healthy.
Use very specific examples to help children understand the purpose of these body rules, such as, “Ms. Teacher is a safe adult when she uses safe touch to wipe you after you use the bathroom.” Or, “Dr. Pediatrician may use safe touch to check to see if your body is healthy when Mom is in the room with you.”
Adults can explain to children that touch by a peer or an adult might be unsafe if the touching makes them feel bad, confused or makes their tummy hurt.
Also include that safe adults do not have secrets with children, emphasizing the difference between a secret and a surprise: An unsafe adult or friend may ask a child to “keep a secret” from their parents or guardians. That secret could be potential sexual abuse. Children should understand that secrets can be harmful and are not safe. They should always tell a safe adult if anyone wants them to keep something a secret. Surprises differ in that they are fun and safe for everyone.
Another strategy to prevent child sexual abuse is teaching consent and bodily autonomy from a young age. We want children to feel comfortable protecting their own bodies by saying “no” and protecting others’ bodies by respecting when others say “no.” It is important to not force or pressure children to hug or kiss friends and family; instead, we can say “it is time to leave. Would you like to kiss grandma?" "Would you like to hug uncle goodbye?" Adults should let the children decide, and if they don't want to, then do not push them. Say “Maybe we can wave then” or “Let’s blow a kiss goodbye.”
Consent can also be demonstrated during play. Parents can use rough and tumble play, tickling (if requested by the child) or wrestling – all typical forms of play in children – to allow children to exercise their choice and show respect to others. For example, while wrestling, if a child becomes distressed, tell the child to say “stop!” Give them the language and permission to voice their needs. When they do so, make a show of stopping. “OK, everyone stop. I heard ‘stop.’ That means we hold our hands up and stop what we are doing.” This practice allows parents and guardians to teach children that they are in charge of their own bodies and should ask others to stop doing things they do not like. There is an additional benefit of teaching them to also stop doing something others do not like in return.
While these methods support children and decrease the risk of child sexual abuse, parents and guardians should remain attentive and involved in the protection of their children. There are several signs of potential child sexual abuse that may be observed, including withdrawal from peers and family members, mood swings or behavioral changes, regressions, bedtime struggles (nightmares or bedwetting), age-inappropriate sexual behavior, or knowledge or physical signs of abuse in genital areas.
It is recommended that adults report suspected abuse to the Department of Children and Family Services’ Child Abuse/Neglect Hotline at (855) 452-5437. Parents and guardians may seek emotional support, crisis intervention, plans for coping, and more through VIA LINK Louisiana Parent Line by calling (833) 522-4453 or texting (225) 424-1533.