While Halloween can be a fun, family-friendly time, the spooky haunted houses, gruesome decorations and terrifying costumes can also make it a frightening experience for some children.
It is common for children to be afraid in the presence of such aspects of the Halloween season, given that separating fantasy from reality is still developing throughout early childhood. In this Tiny Topics column, we will provide some tips and tricks to help support and comfort little trick-or-treaters.
The first step adults can take to support children through Halloween scares is to prepare children by telling them what to expect. Let them know where they will be going, what they will be doing and what they might see while there. Remind children that the costumes and decorations are “pretend” and “for fun” and that they can always come to their grownup if they feel uncomfortable.
Adults can also try to avoid events that are intended for mature audiences or that are not intended to be child friendly. (For example: St. Tammany Health Foundation's family-friendly Monster Mash celebration in Covington.) The goal is to slowly introduce experiences that may be frightening to children. Adults should never force children to engage with something they feel uncomfortable with. Pushing them to embrace whatever scary thing it may be could heighten the child’s fear instead of reducing it, making the situation worse.
If a child does become scared, adults can reassure the child in a very neutral, but soothing tone that the scary monster is just pretend and they are not in danger. This will help to take the pressure off the child and calm them.
Adults should act as the child’s safe place, as well as identify and validate their feelings, by saying, “I see that you are feeling scared right now. You do not like that ghost decoration, but remember, it is just pretend. You are safe here.” When the child feels comforted, adults can model how they interact with the ghost by giving it a high five or patting its head, then allowing children to explore when they are ready and to the extent they would like to.
It is important that children do not completely avoid the scary thing because total avoidance can reinforce their fears. Adults should speak to children who are not exploring about compromising on how they want to interact with the scary ghost. For example, a child who does not want to touch the ghost might be OK with waving at it.
Taking these steps to support children when they are afraid can help to manage their fears and give them opportunities to develop confidence and bravery.
Stay safe – and happy Halloween!
Kayli Coleman is an educator with the St. Tammany Health System Parenting Center, which since 1987 has worked to promote confidence and competence in parents, encourage optimal development for their children, and enhance the well-being of local families as a whole. Learn more about the Parenting Center’s programs at StTammany.health/ParentingCenter.