Taming the tantrums: Tips for exasperated parents

By Alexis Dill MS PLMFT, adill@stph.org

Did you know that temper tantrums are completely normal and developmentally appropriate?

As parents, it is our job to help young children identify their emotions, process them and handle them correctly. Like adults, children often get overwhelmed with the demands of life. They may not understand what you are telling them or have the words to explain their feelings.

Below are some tips provided to you by The Parenting Center to help with temper tantrums that may arise in your household:

• Stay calm. Your child is looking to you to be the calm in their storm. Do what you need to do to manage your own anger and anxiety around the situation and then assess.
• Take a step back. Sometimes children need room to just be upset. In a calm tone say, “I cannot talk to you when you are screaming. I will be right over here when you can calm down and we can talk about it.”
• Remain consistent and do not give in. If they are melting down because you took something away from them or told them they could not have something, stick to your word. Ultimately, you want your children to be able to take you seriously, and when you give into their demands it tells them that throwing a fit will get them what they want.
• Offer them a choice. So much of children’s lives feel out of control. By giving them a choice, often times they will feel as though this allows them to have a say in the matter at hand. 

Tips for avoiding tantrums:

• Make sure your child gets plenty of sleep. Be sure that your child has adequate sleep before venturing out and try to avoid scheduling outings during their naptime.
• Make sure your child has healthy food. Often children throw tantrums because they are tired and/or hungry. Make sure you always have a drink and a healthy snack readily available when venturing out.
• Let your child do things for you. Involve them in the process. If you are grocery shopping, let them put the food in the cart or help you find items throughout the store. Talk to them, ask questions, and give them something to do while you shop.

Parenting is one of the toughest jobs, but The Parenting Center is here for you. If temper tantrums are something your family struggles with, please reach out. We are here to help. At $20 we offer Parenting Coaching by appointment, so call The Parenting Center to set up an appointment with one of our educators for guidance and assistance on how to help your children process through their tantrums.

Below, find descriptions of upcoming Parenting Center classes for parents and new siblings. For details and a full calendar of events, visit STPH.org/Parenting Center, email adill@stph.org or call 985-898-4435.

• On Thursdays, from 10:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m., the Parenting Center hosts a free Baby and Me Support Group. This class is open to the public and will be facilitated by our Education Coordinator, Alexis Dill. This weekly group provides socialization for new babies as well as a time for new parents to collaborate and talk about new parent struggles. For details visit STPH.org/Parenting Center, email adill@stph.org or call 985-898-4435.
• Looking for a new Play Group in town? Join us for our age-specific play groups! Our preschool play group will be Oct. 6 and 13 at 10:30 a.m., and our toddler play group is set for Oct. 7, 14 and 21 at 10:30 a.m. For details visit STPH.org/ParentingCenter, email cfouquet@stph.org or call 985-898-4435.
• Come out and join the Parenting Center’s BLS instructors as they do hands-on CPR training in our Friends and Family CPR class on Oct. 28 from 6 to 8 p.m.  You will gain great knowledge and skills needed for choking and breathing emergencies that may arise with your child, family member or anyone in your presence. (Note: This is not a CPR certified class, however the skills and knowledge you gain can save lives.)
  COST: $30/per person. For details visit STPH.org/ParentingCenter, email adill@stph.org or call 985-898-4435.

Alexis Dill is a provisionally licensed marriage and family therapist. She serves as education coordinator at St. Tammany Health System’s Parenting Center and can be reached at adill@stph.org.